こんにちは！おひとり様暮らし満喫中のSAWAです。
2週間ほど前、友人からLINEが届きました。
お母さんが心肺停止で運ばれた。なんとか蘇生したけど意識なし。
小学生のときからの友人なので、もちろん「お母さん」も面識はあります。
それどころか、なんだか他人事に感じられませんでした。
今まで、祖父母が亡くなったと聞くことはありましたが、両親が…というのはまだ身近じゃありませんでした。
うちも両親の結婚が早いので、今だに両親とも現役で働いています。
でも、そうやって古くからの友人に聞くとグンと現実味を帯びてきました。
そして思ったことは、このまま一人で生きていく中で親の最期を見届ける根性があるのかな？ということです。
親って、手放しで自分の味方だと思っています。
兄弟とも違う無償の愛というか…絶対的な存在です。
私を認めて必要としてくれる唯一無二な。
もちろん、子供のころはそんなこと全く思いませんでした。
なんなら「鬱陶しい！！」くらいしか思っていなかったです。（笑）
そんなもんですよね？
それが、大人になるにつれて「親心」も分かったりしてきます。
子供がいるわけじゃないので、本当の意味で親のありがたみを実感してるわけじゃないのかもしれませんが。
そんな中で、友人から入った「親のもしも」にうろたえてしまいました。
私にもいつかやってくる現実です。
妹たちとその日を迎えるとして、その後一人で生きていけるんだろうか…という漠然な不安に襲われてしまいました。
独身者の大きな試練なのかもしれませんね。
超えられるかな…。
にほんブログ村
コメント
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